011 - You Are Not Alone

On the first day of the stay-at-home order, my husband broke his ankle.

I’ll spare you the details of the story (it involved running, rain, and frozen yogurt), but I can honestly say that the two months that followed were some of the hardest of my life.

We had just moved to a new city a few months prior. We didn’t know anyone, but we were determined to fight against our natural inclination of spending time only with each other to get out and meet new people. And then he broke his ankle and we were told we could only leave the house for essentials.

The two months that followed were two of the loneliest of my life. Because suddenly, the weight of our lives wasn’t being carried equally between Jeff and me. It was almost exclusively on my shoulders. I went grocery shopping alone. I ran errands alone. I walked the dog alone. I took care of Jeff alone. And because the only way for him to sleep comfortably at night was for him to sleep on the couch, I even slept in our bed alone. Even though Jeff and I were at home together, and I still had meetings at work and phone calls with family, I truly felt all alone. And what’s more, I thought I was the only one experiencing what I was.

During those two months, I didn’t really talk about how hard it was to those around me - my family, my friends back in Colorado, or my team at work. Yes, I acknowledged that it was hard and I was tired, but I didn’t really acknowledge the loneliness of it all until a few months later, when Jeff was (literally) back on his feet and the whole ordeal was behind us. The reason I didn’t really tell anyone was because I thought I would be the only one who has gone through something like that.

But the more I began talking about it with other people, the more stories I heard of people who have gone through something similar - whether it’s been this year or in a previous season. And I’m so annoyed with myself that I didn’t talk about it more, all because I thought I would be the only one. I realize that my loneliness was made worse because I sealed myself off in it - I didn’t open up or let others in to share light and hope and a similar story. Had I let others in and been honest about how I was struggling, I would have found the camaraderie and empathy I was missing.

What I want you to know, wherever you are and whatever you’re going through, is that someone else is experiencing the same thing, or they have in the past. And although it’s hard and scary to open up, be vulnerable, and share your struggles with another, that’s the only way to find out that you’re not alone.

And don’t forget - Jesus knows what you’re going through. Hebrews 4:15 tells us that Jesus is able to understand and empathize exactly what we’re feeling because He felt it too. Even if He didn’t go through exactly what you are now, He has felt the emotions you’re feeling. And unlike those around you, He actually has the power to redeem and restore your circumstances and the way you’re feeling. Isn’t that amazing? He will meet you where you are and empathize with you, but He won’t let you stay stuck in the darkness and loneliness.

But sister, you have to be willing to speak up, open up, and get honest about where you’re struggling with Jesus and with those around you. The more you isolate yourself in whatever you’re going through, the more alone you’ll feel. But when you allow some light to shine into those dark, concealed areas of your life, I promise you, you’ll discover that others have been where you now find yourself.

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Published in the 011 - August 25 issue of TuesdayTribe

Written by Hannah Hladek

Photo by Mikael Kristenson on Unsplash